Little Things That (don't) Mean A Lot

I am constantly amused by the small and strange details of our lives on FOB Enormo. You've probably read a million stories about how well they feed us--especially during the holidays. The Baltimore Sun has a couple of reporters currently in Iraq who are keeping a small blog that has talked about the food (among other things). However, the mess halls have a number of quirks you probably haven't heard about.

Weapons: You can't get IN the mess hall without a weapon unless you are a civilian. This rule is absolute and is enforced by...

African Guards: Most of them are Ugandan, some are Kenyan from what I've been told. These men and women are private security guards that are posted at the entrance to the compound where I work, the mess halls and the PX. Since they are neither American nor in the military, they enforce the rules equally and without regard to rank. I've seen more than a few senior officers denied entry to the mess hall because they forgot their ID cards. The guards are firm but very calm. They are also armed with automatic weapons, which means few people are willing to argue with them.

Hand Washing: The signs are clear...you WILL wash your hands before entering the mess hall. We don't have normal soap. Instead, there are large bottles of what appears to be concentrated dishwashing liquid with brand names like "Fairy" (from Kuwait, I think). Use too much, and you'll hold up the line for the sink while you spend 10 minutes rinsing off all the excess. The paper towels are unlike anything I've seen before. They are more like 12-inch wide rolls of thick toilet paper or Kleenex. You pull a section of "towel" from the dispenser and then tear it off. Very strange, but you get used to it.

Heavy-Handed Servers: In a "normal"military mess hall, you sometimes have to beg to get a decent portion of food. In our mess halls, I routinely find myself begging the servers to reduce the portions. They will serve as much food as you can carry on your tray.

Soda/Drink Cans: Ahh.....this is my favorite mess hall quirk! The mess halls serve "brand name" soft drinks (Pepsi, Coke, Sprite, etc) in cans, but the production and canning takes place overseas. I can't read the labels, but I am guessing that a lot of it is canned in either Kuwait or Turkey. Since these countries aren't quite as environmentally friendly as the U.S., the Coke/Sprite products often have pull tabs on the top of the cans. Wow!!!!! I don't think I had seen a pull tab in 20 years until I got here. It is a great reminder of the past, and I make a special point of trying to consume only those soft drinks that are equipped with the pull tabs. I don't know why, but I get a big smile on my face when I pull that tab . It is like being a kid again. I then stuff the tab inside the full soft drink can--something I would not have done while growing up, but something I saw plenty of beer drinkers do while I was growing up. I am sure my mother is cringing while she reads this...trust me, Mom. I haven't swallowed a tab yet!