Mobilization Hasn’t Destroyed Civilization…yet

(written on/about Fathers Day, 2007)

We’ve had a blessed bit of down time after the conclusion of our evaluated exercise on Friday, and my battle buddies and I have been trying to make the most of it.

We escaped to the small brew pub at the Officer’s Club for a sit down meal. The meal was decent despite our inability to partake of the pub’s signature products thanks to the infamous “General Order Number One” which forbids us from consuming alcohol -- or engaging in most other behaviors accorded to members of a free society. We all enjoyed having someone serve us instead of standing in yet another mess hall queue.

Yesterday was a mostly free day, except for a unit picnic in the late afternoon—and I was able to retrieve my laptop from the repair shop. The picnic wasn’t exactly mandatory, but as an officer the unspoken rule is that you are expected to make an appearance. After a light repast of overcooked burgers, weenies and soda many of us escaped to the post theater to watch SpiderMan 3. This was a big event as it represented the first decent movie they have shown on post since we’ve been here. Alas, the movie was a disappointment (too long, in my view) but we still enjoyed a night away from the barracks.

Today might have been the most civilized day of training throughout this mobilization. The battle buddies and I boarded a van at a reasonable morning hour (8:30 AM) to participate in a gas mask confidence course. Previous “mask confidence courses” I had attended consisted of donning your gas mask, walking into a small building full of tear gas, removing your mask and then exiting the building while simultaneously coughing, sneezing and spontaneously evacuating sinuses and tear ducts.

Today was a much more pleasant event. We walked in with masks on, rolled our heads/necks around to test the mask’s fit and then did a few jumping jacks before leaving. the instructors asked if anyone wanted to volunteer to remove their mask. Unfortunately, no one in my training group was foolish enough to volunteer so I missed out on a good laugh and an even better story to share with chums in the civilian HAZMAT community (who would never be foolish enough to remove their mask in such conditions). Except for a slight burning sensation on the back of my neck, I suffered no physical effects. My confidence in my protective mask remained intact and our training was complete for the day by 9:30 AM.

After the chamber, we showered, put on a fresh uniform and headed back to the Officer’s Club for Sunday brunch. Mmmmmm….good stuff! Excellent pancakes, prime rib and limitless coffee served by a pleasant young waitress. It was another refreshing break from the barracks routine and we managed to make the experience last for about three and a half hours.

(sigh) If only the rest of our training could be this civilized…